Back when I was young, naive and not yet wise to the ways of the world, about two weeks ago, I was fantasizing about being elected Benevolent Dictator of the Universe. You know, just like President Nine Iron.
Since I view the whole gun issue as a great barometer for individual liberty and personal accountability, it would make sense for my first official acts to be striking down some of the more onerous gun laws.
Figuring out exactly which laws to start with would be quite a challenge as there are over 20,000 gun control laws on the books. Why? Because “compromise,” that’s why.
Well, not compromise in the true sense of the word. You see, real compromise means that each side gives up a little, yet wins a little of what they want. Both sides share in their respective upsides and downsides. Like sex.
When it comes to gun control, there is no such thing as real compromise. It’s just a code word for “You guys just keep giving up more and more ground while we give up nothing until we achieve complete and total civilian disarmament.” Real compromise on gun issues, is about as likely as our President skipping a golf outing to attend a national security briefing.
This is why we have 20,000 gun control laws and more being proposed each and every day.
When that glorious day comes, when I’m in charge, I’m going to set about fixing a few things. Think beavers are industrious? Wait til you see me in action with my secret decoder dictator pen! During the first 20 minutes of my reign, I’ll get rid of ALL gun control laws. Well, all except one perhaps. I do kind of like that 2013 Family Protection Ordinance, passed in Nelson, GA, that requires all citizens to own a gun and ammunition. The intent is to “provide for the emergency management of the city” and to “provide for and protect the safety, security and general welfare of the city and its inhabitants.” I suppose I could live with that one.