Following on the heels a recent ban of images showing guns, the British Advertising Standards Authority has elected to extend the ban to all things deemed “potentially scary.”
'Scary Thing' Example
Nigel Giles, spokesperson for the authority offered this explanation. “Gawdon Bennet! We got complaints abaaaht a new advert. OK? Awright geeezzaa! abaaaht what movie ‘Wan’ed‘ starrin’ actress Angelina Jolie. Sorted mate. There are scenes ov Jolie firin’ pistols an’ shotguns in a somewhat butters (sexy) fashion. Lor’ luv a duck! scared me ter dearf . Know what I mean?”
After Mr. Giles was sedated, senior ASA spokesperson Harbottle Sainsbury clarified the authorities position. “Movie images and pictures of sexy people shooting guns tends to scare the bejeepers out of us Brits. Plus, Ms. Jolie has really big lips. That’s kind of scary too. We decided to get in front of this problem and start outlawing other things that can be perceived as scary. Before they actually scare people that is. Care for some tea?”
Scary Burger King Guy
While details of what things are considered “scary” are still being worked out, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown offered some examples of what types of images could fall under the ban:
- Rosie O’Donnell
- Spiders
- United States Congress Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi
- The movie “Jaws”
- British Comedian Russell Brand
- That big snaky monster baselisk thing that was in Harry Potter
- Actor Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) appearing nude in the play Equus
- That creepy plastic Burger King guy
Citizens are encouraged to submit suggestions of other scary things that should be considered in the pending ban legislation.
[…] in part to the bottle-necked .357 Sig cartridge shape. It just wants to feed easily. Kind of like Rosie O’Donnell. While we can make a Glock 22 fail with poor shooting form, this is really hard to do with the […]