Today’s episode of Revisionist History Corner brings Part 1 of a series on our country’s founding document, herefore to be know as the Declaration of Dependence. Rather than be an apathetic slug blogger and wait to comment on someone else’s revisionist efforts, I figure I’ll be proactive and start rewriting things myself.

Let’s take a crack of bringing that pesky document, formerly known as the Declaration of Independence, up to date.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal, with the exception of career politicians, who have been endowed
with a special gift of judgment, in order to determine who should and
should not be equal. All men are endowed by their Creator with certain
unalienable Rights, that among these are life, large homes, the payment of taxes in
order to promote patriotism, and the pursuit of free stuff from the
Government.”

Before I send this to the National Archives, feel free to offer some constructive, or destructive, criticism.  While all of our founding principles are now living documents, we don’t want to have to break out the quill pen too often for revisions, so let’s get this years version right.

This has been a revisionist history moment, brought to you by Congressman Barney Frank.

Don’t bother checking this page again tomorrow; we’ll probably have rewritten it by then.