‘Halloween’ Home Defense: Protecting Yourself from Michael Myers

Yes, it’s that week again. It’s time for youngsters to roam the streets begging for Hershey miniatures and Nerdz while lobbing eggs at houses that offer up saltine crackers. Not coincidentally, the latest iteration of the evil slow-walking guy with a knife movie series – Halloween (2018) – hit the theaters last weekend. True to form, Hollywood has some things to teach us tactical Neanderthals about defending our homes from masked invaders who just won’t die.

But first, here’s your obligatory

SPOILER ALERT.

Since we’ll be learning from Hollywood tactical professionals and non-verbal knife murderers, we’re going to have to talk about things that happen in the hot new Halloween movie. If you haven’t yet seen the newest entry in the franchise, read on at your own risk. You’ve been warned, although you already know that Michael Myers never dies, so we’ll likely see him again in a future flick. You can’t kill the boogeyman.

Shorty Shottie

In various parts of the movie, the older and immensely more badass Laurie Strode (Jaimie Lee Curtis) wields a shorty shottie. From quick looks, it appears to be some variant of a Mossberg 500 Tactical, likely the Cruiser version.

The vertical pistol grip, lack of stock, and receiver are the giveaways. Laurie tends to carry this one ready to fire from the hip, so I have to believe she subscribes to the “you don’t have to aim a shotgun” myth.

So, is it a good anti-Michael Myers solution? Admittedly, this is an opinion matter, but I’d have to say no. The Cruiser shotgun gets big points from the Russian judge for portability and Anti-Michael power, but it’s hard to control and aim and capacity is limited to a half-dozen or so.