My Certified Shooting Instructor

My Certified Shooting Instructor

Don’t believe everything you hear.

Even if it’s in a gun shop. Even if you hear it from a “Certified Instructor.” Over the course of many years of shooting, I’ve learned that the following groups all claim to be Certified Shooting Instructors:

  • All members of the National Rifle Association
  • All shooters who claim to be members of the National Rifle Association, but really are not
  • Everyone who has ever posted on
  • 74% of tween males with internet access
  • Larry the Mall Ninja

So take any sources of gun knowledge with a grain of salt. There are lots of genuine Certified Shooting Instructors out there – and the good ones won’t mind direct questions. So don’t be afraid to challenge and validate advice you get. It’s your life on the line after all.

Which brings me to the point of this story. Years ago, I took the state required eight hour concealed carry course. From a genuine, state certified concealed carry instructor. Let’s call him Cleetus. Not his real name, but not that far from it, and certainly befitting of his style.

After about six hours of epic and boundless braggadocio we go to a discussion about hollow point ammunition. By the way, Cleetus spent most of the first six hours telling the class how he would win any gunfight he was in because he would just stand there, cold as ice and devoid of fear, while bullets flew by him. He’s been shot at before of course, and gunfire in his direction doesn’t faze him. Anyway, Cleetus would prevail because he would stand firm, cool as a cucumber, take careful aim, and end the altercation. At this point, most of the class was ready to test him on his claim.

Back to hollow-points. A student asked why hollow-points were more effective. Cleetus responded with the following answer:

“Hollow-points is a ferocious man stopper because they’s designed with sharp petals. As the bullet flies through the air, the petals come out like whirling fan blades of death over an inch wide. It flies through the air like that and tears up everything in its path. Ain’t no man livin’ through that.”

* While some of the content in this site is, well, a tad exaggerated for cheap attempts at humor, this story is 100% true. Unfortunately.