I’ve been fortunate enough to shoot a variety of Kriss Vector models over the past year or so. Starting with some pre-production fully-automatic guns at the Blogger Shoot last year and more recently standard production models at SHOT Show 2012 Media Day. 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP will certainly wake you up in the morning.

While it may look like a movie prop from The Blade Runner, the Kriss Vector is a brilliant design. The Kriss Vector Super V System makes semi-automatic fire smooth and fast, but really shines in full auto mode. The basic idea is that the block and bolt recoil in a downward direction. That explains the big hunk of metal housing just in front of the trigger and behind the magazine well. The repeated force of block and bolt slamming downward help combat muzzle rise and perceived recoil. How else could one hope to keep 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP on target for more than a picasecond? Trust me, it’s fabulously easy to control, unlike Brittany Spears. Add a suppressor and you’re dealing with physics defied. Perhaps Einstein was wrong?

All that ballistic mumbo jumbo aside, I want one. Even a semi-automatic would tide me over for a while. Here are my top 10 reasons:

  1. I too can look like the guy in the photo above. Provided of course that my entire body is shrink-wrapped with fat squeezing man-girdle, covered in tactical gear,  and only my eyes are visible. I might even look tough enough to frighten away my daughter’s prospective dates.
  2. Nothing says “I love you!” like 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Rapidly.
  3. The existence of the Kriss Vector has increased my respect for the French by 32.6 percent. The action was developed by French engineer Renaud Kerbrat.
  4. apparently has one and I’ll be darned if I let those guys get a one up on me!
  5. Kriss Sales and Marketing Vice President Christophe Guignard has a fantastic accent.
  6. The fact that a European gun was developed in .45 ACP gives hope that we don’t in fact have insurmountable differences with our friends and neighbors across the pond.
  7. Assuming mine is a full auto version – suppressed of course – I will finally emerge victorious over the rodents in my garage.
  8. I’m confident that I could talk Lisa and Bart Looper into making a Flashbang holster for the Kriss.
  9. It’s time to put an end to the occupy movement. There are boxes and boxes and boxes of .45 ACP ammo occupying space on my shelf that have no business being there. Freeloaders…
  10. I can finally shoot faster than Rob Leatham.