On the third day of Christmas, I hope my true love gives to me…
Three tactical pens…


Are we planning on taking out a few dozen terrorists with a pen? Nope.

Fighting off a pack of brain-thirsty zombie-ninja’s? Nope.

Vigilante justice in the dank alleys of major metropolitan areas? Nope.

Using them for anything remotely tactical? Nope.

But it sure sounds like a fun way to needle the TSA. Pens are still legal to carry on planes as far as we know. For now.

If you are into tactical office supplies and other unusual impact weapons, here are some that strike our fancy. Weak pun intended.

SureFire Pen IV – Made from aerospace aluminum with a mil-spec black or silver finish. This one is a retractable tip model so there is no cap to lose. And it looks like an actual pen, not some form of futuristic torture device.
Uzi Tactical Defender with DNA Catcher – While the SureFire Pen IV is cool because it looks normal, the Uzi is sure to generate some panicked 911 calls around the office. Not only is the crown of this pen mean and nasty looking in its own right, according to Uzi “the sharpened crown on the end can be used to jab or poke an attacker, which will not only cause extreme pain, but it will also collect the aggressors DNA which can be used for future identification.”
That’s what I want! Some deviant miscreant’s DNA all over my pen…
Bic Cristal – Old school, but effective if you know the right junior high school tricks. A Bic Cristal plus a pin and a little lint or cotton and you’ve got an annoying if not lethal blowgun.



Two shooting gloves


  And a Smith and Wesson M and P