I feel like I’m a fairly bright guy. Especially when I watch Wheel of Fortune and guess at least half of the puzzles without buying a single vowel. Brainpower or not, this issue has me totally flamboozled.
It’s the “No Guns Allowed” campaign led by the Moms Demand Alimony From That Napoleonic Little Tyrant Michael Bloomberg (MDAFTNLTMB) organization. They’ve been bringing swarms of protesters, like almost 10 or 12, to a whole bunch of events at businesses like Kroger grocery stores. Apparently their goal is to encourage those businesses to adopt a “no guns allowed” policy.
Call me crazy, but I thought we already had a bunch of laws for that, which a slew of tipsy politicians codified over happy hour at the Capitol pole dancing club.
Here’s the thing that’s got me stumped. Exactly who are they worried about when it comes to people carrying guns in stores?
As I see it, there are a grand total of two choices of “people to be worried about” groups.
- Legally armed citizens.
- Illegally armed criminals.
Am I missing something or any other groups here? I don’t think so. I was thinking about including Nigerian Dwarf Goats because they just look kind of creepy, but then I remembered they don’t have opposable thumbs, and therefore can’t operate guns.
At a loss to understand this issue, I decided to get some first-hand intelligence and consult a Moms Demand Alimony member.
Me: Hey, if you have a minute, I’d like to ask you why you’re here protesting at the Kroger store?
Moms Demand Alimony Protester: It’s my right to feel safe here!
Me: I agree!
MDA Protester: So we need to prevent people from carrying guns in this store.
Me: Who is carrying guns here?
MDA Protester: You know, those people with concealed carry permits.
Me: Oh. Gotcha. Do those folks cause a lot of crime?
MDA Protester: Well, I don’t feel safe if they have guns.
Me: You know, concealed carry holders commit fewer crimes than active duty police officers. The crime rate among people with concealed carry permits is about as statistically close to zero as you can get.
MDA Protester: But they have guns!
Me: What about criminals?
MDA Protester: What do you mean?
Me: Well, by definition, criminals are people who don’t follow the rules. Won’t they be here with guns whenever they feel like it?
MDA Protester: That’s why we need to ban guns from this store!
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