Minnesota Iceman Kahles Scope - Scooby Doo

Minnesota Iceman - Owner of Lost Kahles Scope (Image: Hanna Barbera)

Kahles, Austrian manufacturer of fine rifle optics, recently unveiled the result of what was perhaps the longest field endurance test of hunting equipment ever – a Helia rifle scope lost in the Alps for what initially appeared to be nearly four decades. After showing the long lost rifle and scope at the 2011 SHOT Show, Kahles officials made an even more startling discovery about the scope’s origins.

“When we embarked on a carbon dating test, to settle a bar bet mind you, we discovered that the Kahles scope had been lost far longer than we originally thought” stated Kahles CEO Ben Cartwright. “Imagine our surprise when we found out that the rifle and scope were over 5,300 years old.”

Kahles Lost Helia Rifle Scope

Kahles Lost Helia Rifle Scope (Image: Kahles)

Further research on the scope’s origins yielded more surprising discoveries. Given the location of the find, compared with known hunting trails of the era, it was determined that the rifle and scope were likely owned by the Minnesota Iceman, discovered in 1968. “While most cavemen of that era hunted with rocks and spears, the really well-heeled ones could afford a nice bolt action” commented Cartwright.

Kahles engineers were thrilled with the scope’s perfect operational condition when it was originally believed the scope was in the wild for 30 years. “That in itself demonstrates an amazing feat of engineering” observed Kalhles Product Manager Carl Sagan. “When we found out it was really over 5,000 years old we weren’t really all that surprised. We build these things to last you know. However we were a little shocked that the Minnesota Iceman got his hands on a pre-production model. We hadn’t released those to the market 5,300 years ago. We’re guessing one of our interns borrowed it from the lab or something and got careless.”

After an exhaustive genealogical search, company officials were able to locate a descendant of the original owner in hopes of returning the scope to the family. On hearing the good news, modern day iceman Grrrug was ecstatic. “Mrmffphh urrgghhumpp grrrgxvz Kahles Scope arrgmph grrrrrq frumph” exclaimed the happy descendant of the rifle’s original owner.