Wonder 9 or Eurotrash?

Wonder 9 or Eurotrash?

I have irrefutable proof that the 9mm cartridge is, in fact, ineffective Eurotrash.

Here goes. In the movie 22 Jump Street, in one of the final scenes, a goon using a Sig Sauer P229 9mm shoots Channing Tatum in the arm. Jonah Hill dove in front of the bullet to save his friend because he knew the 9mm was completely harmless, but he leapt prematurely and failed to catch that tiny and insignificant pill in his insulated bod. I hate the word “pill” but it seems appropriate here, doesn’t it? Anyway, Channing the Wonder Boy soldiers on to hang from a flying helicopter with his now perforated arm, and he’s just an actor, not some kind of real life special ops guy. Clearly the 9mm isn’t up the task, even in the movies.

Case closed. 9mm is ineffective and useless.

On the other hand, now that I stop to think about it, there are plenty of examples of where the 9mm behaves as a merciless, one-shot destroyer of arch-villains and faceless henchmen.

From what I understand, the movie Inglorious Basterds is an actual documentary of true stories from World War II. Many of Lt. Aldo Raine’s (Brad Pitt) tough guy Basterds capture and use German MP 40’s throughout much of the film, even uber tough guy Hugo Stiglitz. They manage to defeat the entire German Army and riddle its top staff, including Uncle Adolph, with FMJ 9mm bullets, and those are supposed to be the lamest ever, right? Not so, at least in this movie.

Need more proof of the invincibility of the 9mm? How about Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger) from True Lies? He’s a super spy from an organization so secret (Omega Sector – The Last Line of Defense) that Maxwell Smart and the other folks from Control don’t even know about it. In the opening scene, he uses a Glock 19 9mm to take out 4,387 nameless henchmen in a running and skiing gunfight. It’s a pretty awesome scene.

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