This article originally appeared at Ammoland.

Concealed carry thug

Listening to the nightly news, I’ve come to the conclusion that people with concealed carry permits must be thugs, murderers, and possibly the worst sort of nefarious individuals. Remember Boris Badenov? Yeah, he’s that evil mastermind from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. I think CCW permit holders are way more villainous than he could ever hope to be.

Now you’re probably wondering, “How did this idiot come to that conclusion?” Well, let me tell you.

I’ve determined this based on the level of energy that the anti-gun politicians, led by our Lecturer in Chief, put into restricting the rights and activities of law-abiding concealed carry permit holders. Everybody knows that politicians know what’s best for us, so if they’re convinced that people like me are a danger to society, then I believe it. We must be dangerous and we need to be stopped!

Hey, don’t take my word for it, just consider these proof points. I’m confident that after reading these you’ll want to restrict yourself too, or at least voluntarily check into the nearest penitentiary.

Virginia banned the snot out of concealed carry permit holders.

A recent move by Virginia Attorney General Mark R. Herring, and certainly influenced by notorious anti-gun Governor Terry McAuliffe and his sugar daddy Little Napoleon Mikey Bloomberg excluded concealed carry permit holders from 25 states from using their carry permits while visiting, or traveling through, the state of Virginia. Of particular interest is the fact that Virginia is the state where Patrick Henry made his famous “Give me liberty or give me death” speech. Oh well, apparently that was a long time ago.

According to the Washington Post, “The move is in step with actions governors and attorneys general are taking to address gun violence without going through Republican-controlled legislatures.”

From all accounts, the move was made as a “reasonable first step” to make Virginia “safer.” Let’s see here. If I do the math on that statement, carry the one, and smoke a trashcan full of bad weed, I can follow the logic – I think:

If Virginia is now deemed “safer” because people with concealed carry permits can no longer legally carry guns there, then they must have been the very folks that made Virginia “un-safer” in the first place. By extension, the resulting theoretical reduction in crime means that the only possible explanation is that concealed carry holders were the ones causing all the crime in the first place. Ipso facto e pluribus unum, concealed carriers cause crime, therefore banning them will reduce crime. Got that?

That’s pretty ironic stuff from a state whose motto is “Sic Semper Tyrannis.” That translates to “Thus always I bring death to tyrants.”

Gun Free Zones: No Concealed Carry Allowed!

No, unfortunately I’m not talking about giveaways, I’m talking about the anti’s obsession with creating as many gun free zones as possible. Why gun free zones? Because they make places safer because people won’t carry guns there. You know, I’m talking about places like movie theaters and Wild Wings Cafes.

Again, the logic is clear. By preventing concealed carry, these places are effectively stopping concealed carriers from shooting up lotsa innocent folks. By concealed carriers, I’m talking about all the thugs that dutifully take classes, submit to background checks, turn in their fingerprints, and jump through all the legal hoops to gain the “privilege” of carrying a gun. In short, I’m talking about the dangerous criminal-minded people like you and me.

Granted, I’ve never once heard a single report of a single concealed carry permit holder committing a mass shooting crime, but they certainly could! It’s no matter though. As with the recent move in Virginia, I trust our politicians on this one too. They must have secret data that shows that mass murderers are almost always people with concealed carry permits. Do you need more proof than that? So let’s get on board, do this right, and create as many gun free zones as possible – for public safety of course.

Statistical proof that concealed carriers are thugs?

Admittedly, the first two examples here are more on the subjective side. Rather than give the benefit of the doubt to the degree of wisdom on display from our political leaders, I decided to make sure that concealed carriers really are the root source of crime. For that, I looked up actual data, even though politicians make most decisions on hypothetical and fear-based “what if” scenarios.

As it turns out, some folks already have done the math on this. According to An Analysis of the Arrest Rate of Texas Concealed Carry Handgun License Holders as Compared to the Arrest Rate of the Entire Texas Population by William E. Sturdevant, September 11, 1999…

Concealed carry permit holders are 5.7 times less likely to be arrested for violent offenses than the general public.

Concealed Carry permit holders are 13.5 times less likely to be arrested for non-violent offenses than the general public.

In the 2014 report from the Crime Prevention Research Center, the relative “lawfulness” of concealed carriers is also evaluated for the state of Florida and in comparison to active duty police officers.

“During over two decades, from October 1, 1987 to May 31, 2014, Florida has issued permits to more than 2.64 million people, with the average person holding a permit for more than a decade. Few — 168 (about 0.006%) — have had their permits revoked for any type of firearms related violation, the most common being accidentally carrying a concealed handgun into a gun-free zone such as a school or an airport, not threats or acts of violence. It is an annual rate of 0.0002 percent.”

The same report also finds that active duty police officers commit crimes at a rate six times greater than concealed carry permit holders in Texas and ten times more in Florida.

Now we’ve got a serious dilemma. Our trusty politicians are making policy predicated on the belief that concealed carry permit holders create crime, yet actual data indicates the exact opposite – they’re about the most law abiding group of people out there.

Imagine that.