Just to make sure we’re all on the same page when it comes to the .50 Beowulf and its namesake, we all studied Beowulf in high school, right? Take a moment to recall the 3,182 lines of alliterative verse poetry written in unintelligible Old English. Got it fresh in your mind? Good.
OK, so to be honest, I didn’t pay attention in English Lit class either. To get us all on the same page, here’s the social-media-friendly, condensed version of the story. Danish King Hrothgar’s beer hall was under attack by a demonic monster. Yes, the beer hall was really under attack. Maybe this story should have been a Greek tragedy. Anyway, a Scandinavian badass, Beowulf, comes along to kick the monster’s butt, successfully I might add.
This royally ticks off the monster’s mom (yes, really), so Beowulf uses a giant sword to slay her, too. The people are so happy that the beer hall was saved that they eventually make Beowulf King. Later, to get the renewal on his man card, he has to travel somewhere to slay a dragon but is mortally wounded in the process. Bottom line: Beowulf is an epic, but dead, folk hero with valid monster-slaying certificate of participation. If you want to win trivia bar bets, the monster that Beowulf killed was known as Grendel. You might recognize that name from another cartridge developed by Alexander Arms.
So given the attributes we’re going to discuss, the Beowulf name seems entirely appropriate. I’m thinking that the original Beowulf would have much rather entered that dragon’s lair with an Alexander Arms .50 Beowulf. He probably wouldn’t have even needed a spare magazine and would be alive drinking Danish ale today.