Today, Smith & Wesson (SWHC), long time maker of firearms and accessories, has experienced a meteoric rise of its share price over the past six weeks, resulting in a total market capitalization greater than that of the Federated States of Micronesia.
“We could not be more pleased with the recent share price growth” said Smith & Wesson CEO Ben Cartwright. “We’re up 87% just since the election. We’re not growing quite as fast as the list of Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriends, but we’re getting darn tootin’ close.”
In related news, Ruger Firearms (RGR) has posted gains of 66% during the same period. Matt Dillon, Executive Vice President of Business Development and Law and Order, notes “That endorsement deal we did with Barak Obama last summer really paid off. We got a fistful of dollars out of that one for dang sure.”
Not everyone was as pleased with the news. Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff commented “The whole business
success thing is kind of upsetting. Here we are working really hard to gen up a huge crisis so we can ram our outrageous agenda through Congress, and this kind of good news is just no help at all. Even worse, with all these people buying guns the past few months you would think they didn’t trust us.”
Neither CEO would comment on rumors of a hostile takeover of the Island States.
Hey Guy! Let’s keep this under wraps. I finally found a winning sector in the market and you are calling the governments attention to it. Buy gun stock or buy ammo stock for future profit.
Sorry but you have uncovered my devious and masterful short sale strategy! I figure if I alert the feds to a successful industry, they will start to regulate, or at very least, force a bailout package on it and send the stock prices into a free fall.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Welcome Sarah! Always great to meet someone else who like a laugh now and then. We’ll keep at it, glad you enjoy the blog!