In honor of tomorrows release of AMC’s The Walking Dead Series 1 DVD set, we thought it appropriate to call out our choices for the most desirable Zombie killing guns. You never know when the Zombies will come, so its best to be prepared.
While scientific data on Zombie killing is fairly light, we’ve learned a lot from the T.V. and the movies – both excellent sources for hard empirical data. For example, it appears that Zombies are not very concerned about traditional ‘human’ factors like caliber selection, knockout power, or foot-pounds of energy. A simple head shot seems to do the job with most any caliber weapon. Given that, you’ll notice that our official recommendations are skewed a little more towards accuracy, capacity, and reliability. When you’re facing a horde of irritable walkers, you can’t be thinking about those tiresome jams, reloads or immediate action drills.
At risk of this site being boycotted by gun nuts everywhere, you’ll notice we didn’t include a 1911 model handgun. Against un-dead opponents, this is a great and proven option. But we’re talking about the walking dead here and capacity counts. No wimpy 7 round magazines for us when facing a few hundred hungry Zombies. High capacity and plentiful cheap ammo aside, we left out .22’s as well. Zombies require a skull penetrating head shot and the .22 just can’t provide 100% certainty. Shotguns? Probably great fun, but again, accuracy and capacity make good Walker medicine.
With those criteria in mind, here are our recommendations for when, not if, the zombie apocalypse comes:
|Good handling indoors and low recoil for fast follow up shots. Proven in battle. 30 round capacity, integral suppressor, and retractable stock. We now know that Zombies are learning to open doors, so indoor performance is key. All the cool movie action heroes use them. What’s not to love?|
|An obvious choice. Ready availability, plentiful 9mm ammo that can be retrieved from military outposts, high capacity, and outstanding reliability. Obviously it will have a Crimson Trace LG-402M Mil Spec laser grip. Duh.
Plus, this one has ‘real world’ proof of performance. In The Walking Dead, our hero, Rick Grimes, uses an M9 version to nail 15 zombies on a full tilt run while trying to escape from an irritable horde in downtown Atlanta. If that’s not scientific evidence, what is?
|Maybe we’ll get trapped in the CheaperThanDirt.com warehouse where we will have to make our final stand. If that’s the case, and ammo availability is not a problem, we might choose the FN Happy Fun Combo of a Five-seveN and a PS90. Not a bad setup when your back up gun has a 20 round capacity.|
|We won’t be equipped with just any AR15. Ours will be Zombie customized with horde-ready Surefire 100 round magazines. More importantly, ours will also be suppressed. Everyone knows that Zombies are attracted to noise. We might even spring for a supply of subsonic 5.56mm ammo to make it even quieter.|
|At risk of being politically incorrect, this is exactly the right situation for an extra high capacity magazine, so the Glock 17 with a 33 round mag gets added to the list. Of course, one would want a supply of standard capacity mags as well for portability.|
|Handy and lightweight. .30 caliber seems to be plenty for zombies. Easy to aim and 15-30 round capacity. Ammo availability could be a problem, but you can carry a lot once you find a supply. OK, so maybe this one is not the most practical, but we had to include it because we just really like M1 Carbines. They were all over the place in Band of Brothers.|
|The new Sig 226 E2 model is just plain comfortable in the hand. Oh, and its battle proven to boot. High capacity, ultimate reliability. We would pick one in 9mm.|
What say you?