10 Things I’d Look For In A SHTF Shotgun

This Winchester SXP would make a fine last resort shotgun.

This Winchester SXP would make a fine last resort shotgun.

Recently I received a Winchester SXP Marine Defender shotgun for testing and evaluation, and this got me thinking. Yeah, I know. Me thinking is a big stretch of the imagination, but just go with it, OK?

You hear a lot of scary scenarios from the prepper community. Some of them are realistic, others – not so much. Nuclear war, contagion or maybe just the threat of Joe Biden becoming President – there are an infinite number of possible tragedies that might drop kick us right back to the age of foraging, scavenging and no more Taco Bell runs at 3am. Whether or not you believe that the world will revert to Cro-Magnon times, it’s still a good idea to think about preparedness.

Depending on where you live, there are everyday threats that might cause you to be on your own for a while. Live on the east coast? Hurricanes knock on the door each and every year. West coast? How about those earthquakes? Flyover country? Tornados can come at any time. Washington DC? The congressional 401k plan might decrease in value, and that would be tragic indeed. No matter where you live, there are very real threats to all of us. Rosie O’Donnell could get her own TV show. Piers Morgan could become White House Press Secretary. Barack Obama could be elected President. Who knows what kind of epic disasters we might face?

With this in mind, I started thinking about my ideal qualities of an SHTF shotgun. You know, when the masses become all cranky and protesty because the Kardashians stopped doing reality TV.

While pondering all the ways civilization could end, I came up with a list of ten things I really care about in a save-my-bacon and shoot-my-bacon shotgun.

The matte chrome finish helps reduce glare and protect from the elements. Note the sling swivel on the front of the magazine tube.

The matte chrome finish helps reduce glare and protect from the elements. Note the sling swivel on the front of the magazine tube.

Sludge-Proof Finish

While the bluing on a Beretta DT-11 will make me stop and gawk, that doesn’t help much when we’re all eating 12-year-old canned pudding and squirrels.

I want a shotgun that requires no maintenance except for loading. No more oily t-shirts to wipe it down before retiring it to the gun safe. Hey, in the end of civilization scenario, none of us will be lugging around a humidity-controlled gun safe anyway, right?

Our example Winchester SXP has a matte chrome finish. It’s silverish, but lower glare due to the rough finish. You can also get them in black chrome, which offers the same corrosion resistance with reduced visibility.

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The Seven Deadly Sins of Concealed Carry: Not Carrying

Piece be with you! But if it's at home, and not with you, it won't do you a whole lot of good.

Piece be with you! But if it’s at home, and not with you, it won’t do you a whole lot of good.

The fourth deadly sin of concealed carry is… not. Not carrying, that is.

Crazy has roamed the earth for about 65 million years – several decades before Joan Rivers’ first plastic surgery. Consider that we live in a world where  people proudly claim they are “Beliebers“, faux celebrities name their cute babies North West and despotic Korean dictators have family members executed for missing a Black Friday Blu-Ray player sale. The scary part is that the current level of human crazy barely makes the nightly news.

So forgive me if I disagree when people tell me they aren’t carrying for reasons like this:

  • “I’m just running to the store.”
  • “I’ll only be out for a few minutes.”
  • “I won’t need my gun.”
  • “I won’t be in any bad areas.”

It’s an insanity-filled world out there and there is no such thing as a perfectly safe public outing. If you were really able to predict when and where you might be a victim of violent crime, why on earth would you ever be there in the first place, armed or not?

While the cause of spontaneous and violent crazy might be bath salt dessert parties, crystal meth fueled enthusiasm or just plain evil intent, you never know what’s going to happen out there. A quick look at news stories will tell you exactly why you must carry all the time if you carry at all.

The big news is frequency. According to the FBI, a violent crime of some type occurs in the United States every 26 seconds. A murder occurs every 35.4 minutes; a forcible rape every 6.2 minutes and a robbery every 1.5 minutes.

Zombies? Yeah, they’re the rage on TV and shooting accessory products, but I’m talking about the real kind. A Miami man permanently maimed another with just his teeth before being killed by a responding officer. A Texas man attacked friends and neighbors before eating the family dog. Admittedly, the odds of becoming the victim of a zombie attack are similar to Honey Bo Boo editing the Harvard Law Review. But it’s a classic example of the need to expect the unexpected.

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The Rookie's Guide to Guns and Shooting, Handgun Edition

The Rookie’s Guide to Guns and Shooting, Handgun Edition

Swamp Thing: The Immersion – A ZCORR Storage Story…

Some time ago, Jason from ZCORR Zero Corrosion Products left a comment on MyGunCulture.com. Something about his corrosion-proof storage bags for guns, ammo, supplies – most anything one might need to keep intact and rust-free for long periods of time in, let’s say, less than ideal storage conditions.

We (pridefully) told Jason that if we were going to evaluate something and write about it, that we were going to do it on our terms. Surprisingly, he agreed.

We live on the edge of a swamp. Real estate brokers call refer to this as “scenic wetlands” but we all know it’s just a swamp. It’s complete with all sorts of swamp critters: deer, raccoons, fox, snakes of all varieties, and gators. We thought that a good old fashioned swamp would be the perfect place to bury one of Jason’s bags for a while.

We can think of lot’s of scenarios where one might want to bury tactical stuff. Didn’t tell your spouse about that new gun you bought? Secret weapons cache in the yard in case your house is overrun by the undead? Those handcuffs that you sawed off late one night? The list goes on and we won’t ask questions or pass judgment on things you might want to bury.

Anyway, we quickly agreed to the challenge. As Jason seemed so supremely confident about the protective capabilities of his bags, we joked that we might even bury a sandwich and eat it at a later date when the package was dug back out of the swamp. Unfortunately Jason double-dared us and now here we are – trapped into either accepting the challenge or being exposed as trash-talking wimps.

With some trepidation, we assembled our version of a survival kit to submerge in a ZCORR Vacuum Pistol Bag…

Post Apocalypse (choose your favorite type) Survival Kit

  • Gun: Post thermonuclear war, zombie virus outbreak, global economic  collapse, or 30 straight days of cable TV downtime – it doesn’t matter. When civilization breaks down and you’re going to want a gun. We really trust Jason, but let’s be real. We’re not going to bury one of our favorite guns in a swamp just for this article. However, we found a reasonable compromise. We’ve been working on a restoration of a low cost, .25 caliber pocket pistol for a friend for, umm, a few years now. Since the frame is eternally getting polished, why not bury that? Worst case, out comes the Dremel tool once again.

  • Zippo Lighter: Yeah, we know, lighter fluid will be in short supply when the zombies come, but it seemed like a good idea to bury this. Will it still light? Will it explode from some freakish reaction with the ZCORR protective molecules? Will American Horror Story ever come back for season 2?
  • Macaroni and Cheese: Boxed macaroni and cheese takes a close second in importance to our least favorite gun. Plus you’ll want at least one more synthetic packaged meal before you enter a lifelong diet of insects and berries.
  • Metal Spring Puzzle from Cracker Barrel: Yeah, basic survival is important, but what are you going to do with your new-found leisure time with no X-Box, cable television, or Words With Friends? Bet you didn’t think of that did you? We’re packing hours of engaging entertainment with the puzzle. Oh, and it’s metal so we can see if it rusts in the swamp.
  • Black Powder Pistol Pellets: You guessed it. We packed these loose and unprotected, kind of like Paris Hilton, in the bag. And we’re going to shoot them out of a Remington Bison .44 cap and ball revolver replica post swamp-emergence. Does anyone know a good insurance agent? By the way, our policy got canceled recently with no explanation. Hmmm.
  • Primers: You’re gonna have to reload if you want to stand a chance against Mad Max. Until the supplies run out anyway. We packed a box of Federal Pistol Primers and we’re gonna load up some .38 Swamp Specials to see how they work. Still waiting on a referral to a good insurance agent by the way.
  • Official SHOT Show Media Day Notepad: We’re dedicated to this web site and fully intend to keep writing after the total breakdown of civilization. So we’re packing a notepad. Granted, we haven’t figured out how we’re going to handle worldwide distribution…

ZCORR Vacuum Seal Bags

The vacuum seal is one tough cookie (bag.) It features what we reluctantly describe as a zip-lock seal. We say reluctantly because its nothing like the sandwich, or even freezer bag type. It feels about 1/2” thick and locks together in clamp like fashion. If we had access to a fragmentation grenade, we would love to set one off inside the bag just to see if the seal held. 50/50 chance that it would.

Once you have your survival kit in the bag and have zipped the seal shut, it’s time to vacuum out the excess air. Just place most any vacuum hose over the waterproof seal and draw out the air.

That’s it.

If you’re going to do something ridiculous like bury stuff in a swamp, ZCORR recommends using an external container to prevent tears to the bag, but let us tell you, this bag is tough. We buried it in it’s birthday suit.

Check back in a few weeks. We’re going to:

  • Eat swamp macaroni and cheese
  • Make .38 Swamp Special reloads and shoot them
  • Fire a .44 Remington Bison with Swamp powder
  • Torch something with a Swamp Zippo
  • Play some puzzle games
  • And finally finish refinishing that gun…

Pretty In Pink: Guns and Zombies of SHOT Show 2012

Everyone and their undead brother was participating in the gun and shooting industry “zombie pink-alanche” at SHOT Show 2012. From guns to gear to accessories to clothing, pink was on full display.

New from Smith & Wesson is the pink camouflage pattern M&P 15-22 pictured here. We’re all for it, mainly because Smith & Wesson is not following the “any color of your choice as long as it’s black or pink” route. They’re actually tracking closer to the “any color of your choice” route. New M&P 15-22’s are available in a broad variety of configurations and colors. Our favorite was the Magpul MOE customized version although the RealTree camo model will make an excellent woods gun. And it looks great.

Zombies were everywhere as well. From Zombie targets to edged weapons to cleaning kits (keeping your Zombie defense gun clean is a no brainer after all), everything you can imagine had a zombie specific version. A little much some say, but our take is different. If Zombie this and that brings more people into the shooting sports arena, we’re all for it. Simple as that.

Although we have yet to see a full pink Zombie on the trade show floor, we did spot a 3-dimensional bleeding Zombie target sporting pink lingerie. We’ll keep you posted on further developments.

One Funny Interview with Steve Hornady…

Our friends at Guns & Ammo bring us a hysterical interview with Steve Horandy about the new Z-Max Zombie Ammo Line…

Charlton Heston Steps Forward To Lead Fast and Furious Investigation

The Late Charlton Heston to Lead Fast and Furious Investigation

Breaking News: The late Charlton Heston has stepped forward to volunteer to serve as Special Prosecutor in the explosive Fast and Furious scandal. Mr. Heston brushed off stunned observers who were quite surprised at the actor and former NRA President’s entry back into the political scene and even more shocked at his apparent resurrection.

“Heck, Zombies rise from the dead all the time. It’s not that big a deal really. And this is a darn tooting’ good reason if there ever was one,” observed the late Mr. Heston.

Mr. Heston elaborated on his decision and explained that he was pretty sure that Fast and Furious and the resulting cover-up broke most of The Ten Commandments and maybe more. “I got to be pretty knowledgeable about those rules during an old movie role years back you know.”

Asked for his reaction to the news, Attorney General Holder stated “I don’t know.” Pressed for additional detail, Holder admitted “That guy scares me. Especially now that he’s dead.”

Insiders indicate that Mr. Heston is committed to the project and will remain undead for as long as it takes to get to the bottom of the GunWalker scandal. According to Heston’s remains, “I may be dead, but I’m not about to stand for this! These guys are going to have to pry this job from my cold, dead hands! Oh, wait a minute, my hands are cold and dead. Whatever.”

 

Gun Review: Crosman’s Rogue ePCP .357 Airgun: Best Zombie Gun Ever?

The Beautiful Beast: Crosman's Rogue .357 Air Rifle

The Beautiful Beast: Crosman’s Rogue .357 Air Rifle

We’re on our way back from the Professional Outdoor Media Association (POMA) Conference. Yeah, we know, it’s amazing that someone apparently considers us professional. Our perceived professionalism, or lack thereof, is hardly news. The real news is that POMA has been exposed as a secret Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Organization. We realize the POMA acronym is not easily identifiable as a secret Zombie society, but the proof is in the brain pudding.

You see, a high point of the conference agenda was the Range and POMA Camps day. Firearms, hunting, optics, accessory, archery, camping, and fishing manufacturers set up their wares at the Bountiful Lions Club shooting range and a nearby park for writers, outdoor television producers, on-air personalities and others to try out the latest and greatest in gear.

Perfect Rogue .357 Targets

Perfect Rogue .357 Targets

Sounds innocent enough. What about the Zombies? Being astute and observant reporters, we quickly noticed an underlying theme that identified nearly all the new products as “Zombie optimized.” The cornucopia of fun gear included new red dot optics from AimpointMossberg’s new Modern Sporting Rifles in .223/5.56, Hawke Optics crossbow and rifle scopes, GoalZero solar collection and storage gear, and the new Browning 1911-22. That alone says “Zombie Apocalypse preparation.”

The dead giveaway however was the Crosman / Benjamin Rogue ePCP .357 caliber air gun. Yes, you heard that right. .357 air gun. We first saw this specimen of anti-zombie technology and the product expo where Crosman guru Laura briefed us on the Rogue .357’s capabilities:

  • .357 caliber
  • Compressed air powered
  • Velocity up to 1,000 fps
  • Current projectile options in 95 grain, 140 grain, and 170 grain!?!
  • Electronically controlled eVALVE™ technology with LCD display to regulate precise air pressure and maximize reserve chamber efficiency
  • Optics mounting rings
  • Optional bipod
  • Bolt action with 6 round clip
The EPiC Console

The EPiC Console

Impressive features fur sure, but what really got our attention was how this beautiful beast shot. Silent and deadly. We took on 50 yard targets with ease using the 95 grain projectiles. The real surprise was not it’s deadliness, but it’s silence. Wow. Stealth capability included. We all know from movies and AMC’s The Walking Dead that Zombies are attracted by noise, so if you have to take out some of the more aggressive undead, the Rogue .357 is the perfect way to do it. As insurance, the Rogue .357 is one large and scary looking rifle, so it will serve well as a club for last ditch scenarios.

The compressed air reservoir is charged with a standard scuba tank but we’re confident that we could concoct a manually operated air pump when, not if, civilization ends and scuba tanks are in short supply.

We never could get Laura to admit that this gun was specifically designed for Zombie Apocalypse Survival but we all know the real truth, don’t we?

You can buy the Crosman Rogue .357 Air Rifle here.

More zombie humor…

Does the 5 second rule apply to zombies?

The Gentleman Zombie…

Does chivalry apply to zombies?

And there IS someone more prepared than I for the Zombie Apocalypse…

Zombie ready:

Submitted by: duded1982
Posted at: 2011-07-02 23:28:34
See full post and comment: http://9gag.com/gag/157184

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