Hornady Announces Really Really Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation Ammo

Following a special encore screening of the classic action thriller film Escape from New York, Hornady President Snake Plissken introduced the company’s latest line of premium tactical ammunition – Really, Really, Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation.

“Over the past couple of months we’ve introduced a couple of really innovative defense loads” noted Plissken. “The Critical Defense product is aimed squarely at the personal defense market. Well, not literally aimed as that would probably be illegal. At minimum it would be bad for business I think.”

Hornady’s Critical Defense is designed to provide for reliable expansion performance in a broad variety of situations. While traditional hollow points can become clogged with material and fibers from clothing, Critical Defense uses a custom FTX tipped bullet that won’t clog and expands reliably.

Close on the heels of the Critical Defense launch, the company introduced Critical Duty ammunition which offers enhanced barrier penetration characteristics without sacrifice of bullet expansion. “Once we had bullets that performed well through clothing and harder barriers, it was only natural to look at the worst case scenario and design for that,” commented Plissken. “And call me Snake.”

Plissken admits that inspiration for Horandy’s Really, Really Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation ammunition came from a recent DIRECTV binge. “We had about a week straight of rainy days and I must have watched every single 1980′s vintage action movie at least twice. I can’t provide details now, so let’s just say that if you are ever threatened by exceptionally persistent liquid metal villains, we might have a solution for you soon.”

Hornady’s Vice President of Marketing, Don Draper, admits the target market segment is somewhat limited, but remains optimistic about the new product.

“Our primary target market consists of one-eyed former war heroes turned bad who are abandoned in violent maximum security prison cities of the future filled with bloodthirsty dregs of society intent on killing or at least maiming anyone who happens to cross their path. We are having a bit of a problem meeting our sales objectives, but we’re going to be trying some new social media advertising to find more folks who fit the ideal customer profile,” opined an ever-optimistic Draper. “We hear that Twitter might be a good place to start. Do you have any scotch?”

Gun Review: Crosman’s Rogue ePCP .357 Airgun: Best Zombie Gun Ever?

The Beautiful Beast: Crosman's Rogue .357 Air Rifle

The Beautiful Beast: Crosman’s Rogue .357 Air Rifle

We’re on our way back from the Professional Outdoor Media Association (POMA) Conference. Yeah, we know, it’s amazing that someone apparently considers us professional. Our perceived professionalism, or lack thereof, is hardly news. The real news is that POMA has been exposed as a secret Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Organization. We realize the POMA acronym is not easily identifiable as a secret Zombie society, but the proof is in the brain pudding.

You see, a high point of the conference agenda was the Range and POMA Camps day. Firearms, hunting, optics, accessory, archery, camping, and fishing manufacturers set up their wares at the Bountiful Lions Club shooting range and a nearby park for writers, outdoor television producers, on-air personalities and others to try out the latest and greatest in gear.

Perfect Rogue .357 Targets

Perfect Rogue .357 Targets

Sounds innocent enough. What about the Zombies? Being astute and observant reporters, we quickly noticed an underlying theme that identified nearly all the new products as “Zombie optimized.” The cornucopia of fun gear included new red dot optics from AimpointMossberg’s new Modern Sporting Rifles in .223/5.56, Hawke Optics crossbow and rifle scopes, GoalZero solar collection and storage gear, and the new Browning 1911-22. That alone says “Zombie Apocalypse preparation.”

The dead giveaway however was the Crosman / Benjamin Rogue ePCP .357 caliber air gun. Yes, you heard that right. .357 air gun. We first saw this specimen of anti-zombie technology and the product expo where Crosman guru Laura briefed us on the Rogue .357′s capabilities:

  • .357 caliber
  • Compressed air powered
  • Velocity up to 1,000 fps
  • Current projectile options in 95 grain, 140 grain, and 170 grain!?!
  • Electronically controlled eVALVE™ technology with LCD display to regulate precise air pressure and maximize reserve chamber efficiency
  • Optics mounting rings
  • Optional bipod
  • Bolt action with 6 round clip
The EPiC Console

The EPiC Console

Impressive features fur sure, but what really got our attention was how this beautiful beast shot. Silent and deadly. We took on 50 yard targets with ease using the 95 grain projectiles. The real surprise was not it’s deadliness, but it’s silence. Wow. Stealth capability included. We all know from movies and AMC’s The Walking Dead that Zombies are attracted by noise, so if you have to take out some of the more aggressive undead, the Rogue .357 is the perfect way to do it. As insurance, the Rogue .357 is one large and scary looking rifle, so it will serve well as a club for last ditch scenarios.

The compressed air reservoir is charged with a standard scuba tank but we’re confident that we could concoct a manually operated air pump when, not if, civilization ends and scuba tanks are in short supply.

We never could get Laura to admit that this gun was specifically designed for Zombie Apocalypse Survival but we all know the real truth, don’t we?

You can buy the Crosman Rogue .357 Air Rifle here.

Strutting and Rutting

Strut and Rut Energy Drink

Strut and Rut Energy Drink

Strut and Rut – A new energy drink aimed at outdoors-people. Let’s hope it doesn’t inspire namesake behavior by its consumers. I suppose we’ll know for sure in about 9 months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

North American Arms Introduces Nano Pinky Revolver

North American Arms Nano Pinky Revolver

North American Arms Nano Pinky Revolver

Provo, UT – In a move designed to preempt the onslaught of SHOT show announcements planned for the industry’s main event in January, North American Arms today announced its new Nano Pinky Revolver. Described by early customers as ‘teensy-weensy’ the new revolver is gaining accolades for its diminutive size.

Designed for maximum concealment, the Nano Pinky Revolver measures just 1.12 inches in length and weighs just 1.3 ounces.

Due to a lack of suitable holsters on the market, the company has decided to manufacture its own line. “We’re offering a few models” stated Mini Me, Nano Product Line Spokesperson for North American Arms. “The first ones available will be a matched set of earring holsters. We think its especially cool that you can carry your primary gun on the right ear and your back up gun on the left. And if you get them mixed up, it just doesn’t matter.”

North American Arms Spokesperson Mini Me

North American Arms Spokesperson Mini Me

While the company will sell the earring holsters separately, there are special price breaks for the pair. The best deals are expected to be featured on Shoshanna’s Fashion Jewelry Essentials on QVC. Next on the market will be matched cufflink holsters for the man about town who wishes to pack a little heat. “Of course this will only benefit guys who habitually wear French Cuffs” said Mini Me.

Not all are impressed by the size of the new revolver. “Forget trying to pistol whip someone with this gun” complained Harry Callahan, well known San Francisco Detective. “Punks are just not all that intimidated when I threaten them with this thing. My .44 Magnum worked much better for cracking some deadbeats skull.”

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