You might be a gun control activist if…
You think Shannon watts makes a lot of sense if people would just listen to her.
You think that Shannon could deliver her message more effectively if she talked slow and loud, like you do when visiting foreign countries.
You’ve had a pot luck supper at Michael Bloomberg’s house.
You’ve smoked pot with Michael Bloomberg.
You think that the FBI has fudged crime statistics data for the past 20 years because Wayne LaPierre takes them out for CiCi’s pizza every Tuesday.
You’ve ever said “If it could save just one life…”
You’ve never used the phrase “If it could save just one life” when it comes to drunk driving, swimming pool drownings, or car accidents.
You’ve ever uttered the words “If it could save just one life” while drinking a glass of wine by your swimming pool.
You’re convinced that law abiding citizens, who take a class, submit fingerprints, get probed by the FBI and wait months for a permit, are the root cause of drive by shootings.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons, terrorism and the unchecked spread of Shake Weight use.
That millions of Americans who knew how to shoot didn’t make all that much difference when it came to winning World Wars I and II. Everyone knows the French turned the tide in our favor.
You believe that Riker’s Island inmates are more scared of “No guns allowed” signs than clowns, Freddie Kreuger or Rosie O’Donnell.
You choose not to remember that the biggest, baddest assault weapons in existence were owned by private citizens when the 2nd Amendment was written.
You believe you are 937 times more likely to die by spontaneous combustion or killer bunions if you have a gun in your home.
You think that the people with the least amount of relevant knowledge have all the great ideas.