Top 10 Reasons I Want A Kriss Vector

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I’ve been fortunate enough to shoot a variety of Kriss Vector models over the past year or so. Starting with some pre-production fully-automatic guns at the LuckyGunner.com Blogger Shoot last year and more recently standard production models at SHOT Show 2012 Media Day. 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP will certainly wake you up in the morning.

While it may look like a movie prop from The Blade Runner, the Kriss Vector is a brilliant design. The Kriss Vector Super V System makes semi-automatic fire smooth and fast, but really shines in full auto mode. The basic idea is that the block and bolt recoil in a downward direction. That explains the big hunk of metal housing just in front of the trigger and behind the magazine well. The repeated force of block and bolt slamming downward help combat muzzle rise and perceived recoil. How else could one hope to keep 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP on target for more than a picasecond? Trust me, it’s fabulously easy to control, unlike Brittany Spears. Add a suppressor and you’re dealing with physics defied. Perhaps Einstein was wrong?

All that ballistic mumbo jumbo aside, I want one. Even a semi-automatic would tide me over for a while. Here are my top 10 reasons:

  1. I too can look like the guy in the photo above. Provided of course that my entire body is shrink-wrapped with fat squeezing man-girdle, covered in tactical gear,  and only my eyes are visible. I might even look tough enough to frighten away my daughter’s prospective dates.
  2. Nothing says “I love you!” like 1,500 rounds per minute of .45 ACP. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Rapidly.
  3. The existence of the Kriss Vector has increased my respect for the French by 32.6 percent. The action was developed by French engineer Renaud Kerbrat.
  4. HausOfGuns.com apparently has one and I’ll be darned if I let those guys get a one up on me!
  5. Kriss Sales and Marketing Vice President Christophe Guignard has a fantastic accent.
  6. The fact that a European gun was developed in .45 ACP gives hope that we don’t in fact have insurmountable differences with our friends and neighbors across the pond.
  7. Assuming mine is a full auto version – suppressed of course – I will finally emerge victorious over the rodents in my garage.
  8. I’m confident that I could talk Lisa and Bart Looper into making a Flashbang holster for the Kriss.
  9. It’s time to put an end to the occupy movement. There are boxes and boxes and boxes of .45 ACP ammo occupying space on my shelf that have no business being there. Freeloaders…
  10. I can finally shoot faster than Rob Leatham.

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things…

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Satan Goes Full Auto

Kriss Vector SMG

Kriss Vector SMG

We’re pretty sure Armageddon is upon us.

At the recent LuckyGunner.com gun blogger shoot, we spotted Satan field testing the Kriss Vector .45 ACP sub machine gun. Well, actually it may not have been the real Satan, but rather Mz. Vast Right Wing Conspiracy from The Great Satan. While we were prepared for the worst, we actually found that Mz. Conspiracy (also known as Jackie) was not only minimally evil, but rather nice. We’re not sure about The Great Satan’s co-author Capitalist Pig though. He may be really evil for all we know. He does seem to think American Exceptionalism is a good thing. That is evil these days right?

Back to the point.

Here’s a video of the Kriss Vector in action. The first section features a Kriss representative going through the operating instructions with Mz. Conspiracy while the second shows it in action. Our apologies for all the gunfire on the background. The free ammo from LuckyGunner.com sure did cause a lot of noise. Pay particular attention to the slow motion at the end and the combination of amazingly low muzzle climb for a .45 ACP shooting at 1,500 rounds per minute and Mz. Conspiracy’s excellent shooting form. Rumor has it she’s being courted for Top Shot, but we didn’t tell you that.

Enjoy.

Gunfire In Hollywood: Charlie Sheen Resists Goddesses’ Restraining Order

Actor Charlie Sheen Defends The Goddesses

Actor Charlie Sheen Defends The Goddesses

Automatic gunfire erupted from the residence of actor Charlie Sheen late last night when a gang of alleged womanizers arrived at the stars’ home to take custody of “The Goddesses.” Eyewitnesses indicate that Sheen was armed with a Saco M60 E3 Shorty belt-fed weapon. Fortunately no one was hurt as Sheen apparently obtained a blank firing version of the weapon from the NRA Museum’s Hollywood Gun Exhibit.

According to neighbors, a commotion started at approximately 3:30am when Sheen opened fire on the group of lovestruck romeos from his balcony. Eyewitnesses heard Sheen shouting “Taking my kids is one thing, but there’s no way you’re getting The Goddesses! I’m a rock star from Mars! Duh! Winning! Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Sheen with The Goddesses (image: abcnews.go.com)

Sheen with The Goddesses (image: abcnews.go.com)

According to police at the scene, the gang of alleged womanizers appeared at Sheen’s doorstep with a court order from Judge Judy authorizing them to take custody of The Goddesses. “When we realized Charlie was preoccupied with losing his kids, we saw an opportunity to get some hot porn stars” explained Brett Favre. “So I called up a few of my friends and we went to court to get a restraining order.”

Other participants in The Goddesses’ intervention group included Wilt Chamberlain, Jersey Shore reality star Single Ronnie, Hugh Hefner, pro golfer Tiger Woods, and Giacomo Casanova. “When I heard that Goddesses came in pairs, there was no question about me joining this effort” commented Hefner. Some neighbors claimed to have seen John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey with the gang, but those reports remain unconfirmed.

 

Rough neighborhood? Get a pocket machine gun!

Oldie but a goodie from Magpul at the SHOT 2008 show…

 

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