Gargoyles Plan To Form Shooting Team

Gargoyles competition shooting team

Gargoyles Competition Shooting Team Captain Grog Photo:

According to recent reports from, the Gargoyles intend to form a new competitive shooting team. Traditionally known for their fearsome appearance, Gargoyles have not historically been recognized for their agility and speed. According to industry insiders, that reputation is about to change.

“People generally think of rock sculptures as slow and inflexible” comments Don Draper, Vice President of Marketing for Gargoyles Eyewear. “Just because they’re evil and mean looking doesn’t mean that they can’t shake and bake on the course of fire. Plus they have the added benefit of scaring away evil spirits. But the thing that really attracted us to the whole competitive Gargoyle concept was that most Gargoyles have wings and we expect them to literally fly through complex courses in major USPSA competitions.”

Gargoyles Eyewear Shooting Team

Gargoyles Eyewear Shooting Team

Rumors have been circulating for some time that the Gargoyles have been training in more sedentary shooting sports such as Benchrest and NRA Bullseye to prepare for their entre into the action shooting arena. “We’ve been really impressed by the stability and resulting accuracy that these Gargoyles have been able to achieve.” stated Wayne LaPierre, Executive Director of the National Rifle Association. “They just sit there and don’t flinch – like they were made of stone or something.”

Gargoyles Eyewear will be equipping the new team with proven eye protection designs including the Classic and Veil Series but will also leverage the teams exposure in the shooting community to launch the all-new ‘Rock Solid’ series. According to unnamed sources, the Rock Solid line will feature 325% UV protection and unsurpassed durability. “These things will last an eternity” bragged Draper.

Action Shooting Championships Dominated by Justice League of America

Justice League America DC Comics

Justice League of America (DC Comics, Ed Benes)

Blacktown, Australia, October 2010 – Making many renowned competitors look amateurish in comparison, the Justice League of America swept the recent Action Shooting World Championships. While a host of world-class shooters descended on The Blacktown Pistol Club in Sydney, Australia, it was clear from Match 2 (The Barricade Event) onwards that the Justice League team meant business.

Ralph Dibny, better known as The Elongated Man, commented “I think my ability to just stretch around all the barricades really helped to shave seconds off my time. I didn’t have to run anywhere. Elasticity is really an advantage in this part of the match.”

Wonder Woman Superhero

Wonder Woman (Art: Terry Dodson)

The Green Lantern, also known in civilian circles as Hal Jordan, easily took top honors in the falling plate stage. “While there is still a little controversy over legality, I just used my Green Power Ring to shatter the plates” commented Jordan. I did actually shoot at the first one, so I don’t see what people are complaining about.”

Some competitors were less than pleased with the Justice League team. Top Shot reality star Adam Benson intends to lodge a formal complaint with competition organizers. “When Wonder Woman wanted to use her invisible plane during the Moving Target stage, that was the last straw for me” wailed Benson. “I think if you have supernatural powers or come from another planet then you shouldn’t be eligible.”

While most of the Justice League team exhibited quiet humility during their unprecedented victory, some got carried away in the excitement. “When we got to Stage 8 – the Iron Man Match – I was like, REALLY?” laughed Justice League Team Captain Superman. “Give me a break. Iron man? Like that one’s not over before it starts? Please.” Superman refused to comment when asked about recent sightings of him and Wonder Woman at trendy Sydney restaurant, Outback Steakhouse.

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