Mayors Against Illegal Guns (MAIG) spokesperson Senator Al Franken announced today formation of a new political organization – Mayors Against Legal Governing, or MALG.
Inspiration for the spinoff organization came out of a recent emergency meeting called to address the problem of inordinate numbers of MAIG members running afoul of the law. Since it’s formation in 2006, MAIG has suffered a rash of embarrassing incidents where member Mayors have been arrested, convicted, and even jailed for a broad variety of crimes.
“I mean everyone knows that we don’t play by the same rules as common people. We finally decided, hey, why the secrecy? Let’s just be out in the open about it and organize and embrace the lawlessness,” noted MAIG and MALG Founder New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
MALG organizers stress the importance of planning and metrics to success of their long term mission. ”The pro-second amendment crowd likes to use lot’s of fancy statistics to prove things, so we decided we needed to whip up some of our own,” explained MALG organizer Bloomberg.
Inside sources indicate that Mayors Against Legal Governing is trying to make sure that have equal representation from all sorts of lawless behavior. So far, members have compiled an impressive list of illicit behaviors including Campaign Finance Scandal, Bribery, Counterfeiting, Domestic Abuse, Extortion, Money Laundering, Miscellaneous Corruption, Falsifying Evidence, Double-Secret Federal Charges, and Child Pornography.
“While we’re off to an impressive start, we’ve got some real gaps in the areas of armed robbery, impersonation of clergy, and nude Llama wrestling,” observed Mayor Bloomberg. “If you know anyone, please give them my number.
“Originally we wanted to keep this organization exclusive and only allow membership to Mayors who are actual convicted felons or those who were in the process of being convicted,” explained Mayor Bloomberg. “But we’re really making a renewed effort to be inclusive so we’re going consider adding Mayors with Misdemeanors to the group.”
Our tenacious reporters have recently uncovered the following conversation on Facebook. Finally, the truth revealed…
Never wrestle with pigs. You both get muddy, and the pig kind of likes it.
But, there’s an exception to every rule, and this weeks exception relates to combating the American Hunters and Shooters Association. As we write about on AmmoLand.com this week, this group is the shammiest of shammy-sham-sham organizations. Their name and mission statements imply that they are out to protect the rights of shooters and hunters, but their real mission is just the opposite.
That’s OK though. We’ve got a strategy to deal with this. We’re starting our very own shammy-sham-sham political organization called the Legislative Institute Against Redneck Shooters, or LIARS for short. It’s brilliant. In our opinion anyway.
It’s time for another episode of Really!?! with Toys R Us!
Much has been said about the recent Toys R Us corporate decision to ban lawful concealed carry in their stores. They own the tinkle-stained floor tile, so they can make the policies. And I can decide whether or not to go there.
However, I do have to ask – really? I find it interesting how Toys R Us continues to romanticize guns while passing judgement on those who own them…
The list goes on to the tune of several hundred assault toys and assault action figures. And there’s nothing more dangerous than assault dolls. Don’t ask me how I know. Please.
I think I get it though. Selling them in attractive colors make it OK to market assault accessories like pistol grips, drum magazines, folding stocks, belt feeders, and sniper scopes. Are you listening Bushmaster? I’d like to pre-order a MOE Mid-Length in day-glo orange please!
The judgmental hypocrisy kinda reminds me of how much hoplophobes like Sylvester Stallone, Daniel Craig, Roger Moore, and Harrison Ford like to plumpify their Tower Bar hors d’oeuvre budgets by aggrandizing the general sexiness of guns.
It’s hard to be a little people and understand such complex matters.