The Hunchback of the Mall – Small of Back holster user

Do you make these concealed carry holster mistakes?

It’s not particularly hard to spot someone carrying a concealed carry gun – even if you can’t see it directly. While out and about on my daily life routine, I like to see if I can spot people who are carrying concealed. So I can sneak up behind them and yell BANG! Just kidding. Don’t do that.

The concealed carrier spotting exercise does help to keep me on my toes and alleviate some of the boredom while daughter is checking out the latest Lily Pulitzer flip flops at the mall. It’s also a helpful exercise to keep your powers of observation tuned up – and to learn from others mistakes. If you spot someone carrying, you can adapt your strategies to avoid that problem with your own personal routine. Or you can walk up to them and say “nice gun!” Actually, on second thought, don’t do that either.

We offer this list to help you think about how to minimize the chance that other people know that you’re carrying a gun. Here’s a few things we see out there in the land of malls and 7-11′s…

1. The Hip Checker. Humans aren’t designed with a natural hand rest bolted on to the side of our midsection. Even those of us who are working hard to develop a bit of a spare tire have more of a hip curve rather than a flat shelf capable of supporting lazy hands. If you see someone constantly resting their hand on something just a tad above the beltline, odds are good that they’re checking the position of their gun in either an inside the waistband, or outside the waistband, holster. Either that or they’re catching themselves just before scratching their backside in public.

1. The Pocket Pool Player. If you notice small children running frightened from someone walking around with their hand in their front pocket, their intentions may not be as inappropriate as you think. If you’re using a front pocket holster for a small revolver or pocket-sized semi-auto pistol, it sure is tempting to reach in there once and a while and play with it. The pistol, not the gun.

1. The Combat Fanny Pack Ninja. While one would expect to see lots of ever-so-slightly portly folks wearing fanny packs at someplace like Disney World, it’s not something you see quite as frequently in everyday life. I rarely see folks sporting a Princess Jasmine fanny pack at places like Lowe’s, Home Depot or the Nascar National Museum. When I do, I’ll betcha they’re packing a fanny pack cannon.

1. The Phake Photographer. There are plenty of jokes about people who wear those big photographers vests to cover up a belt-mounted gun. All kidding aside, those vests do make a pretty good carry garment. Lots of pockets for gear and extra magazines. Plus, the weight of the pockets-o-plenty garment helps to keep things covered up while you’re moving around. In reality, most non-gun people won’t think twice about someone wearing that type of clothing. Other than mumbling “geek” beneath their breath. Moral of the story? Look for the camera and press badge to see if they are shootin’ photos or guns.

1. Modest Ankles Man. This type of concealed carrier is much, much easier to spot if the ankle holster user is wearing shorts. If Bermuda shorts aren’t in play, look for that person who’s nervous about crossing their legs while sitting down. Or the one who’s constantly adjusting the crease of their trousers on just one leg. Pants have a nasty tendency to ride up and show those ankles when sitting.

1. The Non-Committal Hugger. Ever had anyone give you that typical social hug with only one arm? Did they hug you from the side? No cheap thrills from a full torso grab even if your hugger had a crush on you in 6th grade? That person might have been carrying a gun. Or perhaps they have a rare case of aphephobia. Or perhaps haphephobia.

1. The Lead Purse Shuffler. If you see a lady constantly shifting her purse from left to right and back, while furiously popping Advils from a Wonder Woman Pez Dispenser, she might have some extra weight in there. Perhaps a Springfield Armory TRP 1911 with a couple of extra magazines?

1. The Hunchback of the Mall. The namesake for the hunchback really had more of a shoulder bump. Ours has their lump right above the waistline because they’re carrying a small of back holster. It’s a tough one to spot – until they bend over forwards and expose their carry, carry hump.

Who do you see out there?

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