The Common Sense Language of Gun Control

Words have more power than just about anything. Words can get us married. Words can get us thrown out of bars. Words (in the form of outrageous lies) can get people elected to political office.

In fact, words have the power to change a discussion to a completely different topic.

As an example, look what words have done to the pro-choice / pro-life discussion. If an extraterrestrial NSA analyst was listening in on that debate, they might assume that the argument was over whether women had the right to buy Flintstone vitamins since the language speaks more to “healthcare” than abortion issues.

We don’t have to look far to see what kind of impact words have had on the gun debate.

Using our advanced underground particle literacy accelerator laboratory, located in an underground complex in the foothills of South Dakota, I’ve completed an analysis of words and their impact on the gun debate.

Impact of words on the gun debate

I think the phrase “commonsense gun laws” might be the most dangerous of them all. Using the phrase “common sense” is like a preemptive nuclear strike. When you throw out a term like “common sense” in the war of words, you’re immediately claiming the high ground and establishing your position as a given. It’s up to the opposing party to knock you off.

Heck, you can preface the most ridiculous of arguments with “common sense” to win virtually any debate.

“We should consider common sense solutions to America’s weight problem by doing things like banning large Cokes.”

“We should think about common sense solutions to fairness in reporting by putting Piers Morgan in charge of the FCC.”

“We should pursue common sense solutions to population control by deporting everyone who likes turnips.”

Part of the reason “common sense” is so dangerous is that it sounds so disarming.

So how do you go about fighting common sense? How do you overcome being the bad guy resisting the warm and fuzzy argument that’s based on common sense?

I like to use a technique developed here in the southern United States. It’s called the “bless your heart” attack.

Contrary to the point of this article the phrase “bless your heart” has absolutely nothing to do with words. It has everything to do with demeanor, facial expression and a voice dripping with high fructose corn syrup.

Delivered correctly, “bless your heart” delivers 25 megatons of nuclear insult to your target. (Tweet This)

Said to someone with the correct technique, it translates loosely as “you’re a tiresome lout and have the IQ of a can of spackle.”

So take a lesson. When someone tells you about commonsense gun laws, give your best politician smile and ask them to help you understand exactly how it represents ’common sense.

Example: “You’ll have to forgive me, I haven’t had my coffee yet today. How is that common sense exactly?”

One of two things will happen. First, if your opponent is simply parroting a talking point, you’ll expose them for doing so. Second, if your opponent has any knowledge of the subject matter at all, you have deflected the common sense preemptive strike and started an actual discussion, at which point victory is assured for you.

What’s the conclusion? Guns don’t kill people, words kill people! That’s just common sense.

While you’re here, why not grab a copy of my free eBook, A Fistful of Shooting Tips? It’ll help make you a better handgun shooter and the envy of your range in no time!

Another Robbery Foiled By Common Sense Gun Laws…

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Half-Cocked: Why more girls need to work in gun stores…

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Half-Cocked: The Citizens of Gotham…

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The UN Small Arms Treaty Exposed on Facebook

Our tenacious reporters have recently uncovered the following conversation on Facebook. Finally, the truth revealed…

The UN Small Arms Treaty - The Real Truth

The UN Small Arms Treaty - The Real Truth

Eric, You’re Fired!

Holder, you bum! You're fired!

Holder, you bum! You're fired!

It’s time a rare, but important, semi-serious post about Operation Fast and Furious and the need for some kick-@ss from The Donald.

If you don’t know anything about Operation Fast and Furious and Project Gun Runner, see a screen capture of a Facebook conversation that really, actually, probably happened to learn more.

Here’s how you can help The Donald kick some Holder Rump Roast:

1. Go to www.fireholder.com (yes, really)

2. Sign the petition

3. Feel good about protesting outright incompetence and/or lying like a cheap rug that’s going on in Washington

Simple huh?

Senator Grassley and Eric Holder Conversation Operation Fast and Furious

Really Eric? Really?

 

Best Police Car Chase Ever

You just can’t make this stuff up…

Schumer Proposes ‘No-Snack’ List for Amtrak

New York Senator Chuck Schumer Proposes No-Snack List (img: Wikipedia / David Shankbone)

New York Senator Chuck Schumer Proposes No-Snack List (img: Wikipedia / David Shankbone)

Elaborating on yesterday’s call for expansion of a ‘no-ride’ list for Amtrak rail service, New York Senator Chuck Schumer, announced new ‘no-snack’ legislation aimed at Amtrak passengers with limited self control. Citing newly found intelligence from the recent Bin Laden compound raid in Abbottabad, Pakistan, Schumer outlined details of an emerging threat to American citizens.

“We’ve uncovered startling plans about terrorist plots to cause long-term health problems in the US by increasing the availability of snacks and junk foods” explained Schumer. “In fact, this new intelligence has already led to the interception of a large shipment of Twinkies bound for Union Station in Washington, DC. If those twinkies had made their way onto the Northeast Corridor 1 route we could have had some real problems. The average Amtrak passenger simply would not have been able to resist such unsafe quantities of snack food.”

Schumer’s bill aims to create the no-snack database and have it fully operational by June 1, 2011.

“It’s an aggressive schedule, but Homeland Security has been monitoring Wal-Marts for quite some time, and it seems obvious to us that Wal-Mart customers should be the first ones added to the no-snack list” explained Schumer. Later in the year, we’ll be adding TSA body scanners at both entrances to Amtrak Dining Cars to catch any passengers that manage to slip through the no-snack database. The technology in the latest Porta-Porn Scanners easily shows any extra body fat that passengers may be carrying.”

Pocket knives of mass destruction?

Unfortunately, some things require no witty commentary at all.

According to KnifeRights.org, “the New York County (Manhattan) District Attorney’s Office appears to be engaged in a shakedown of local businesses, forcing them to pay six-figure, so-called ‘contributions’ or risk unwarranted criminal penalties…”

Check out this story, and others, and the good work KnifeRights.org is doing to protect, ummm, common sense.

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