Today, GunUp.com CEO Ben Cartwright announced dramatic market share increases over arch-rival GunDown.com. On the companies quarterly analyst call, Cartwright explained that recent research indicates that GunUp.com enjoys a 99.94% market share of the gun enthusiast online community market compared to GunDown’s .06% share.
Admittedly, the competitors have slightly different target audiences. GunUp.com’s mission is to “provide prospective, new, and experienced gun enthusiasts with a one-stop destination to share, discuss, review, and compare guns with confidence.” On the other hand, GunDown.com caters to a more metrosexual audience, including men who wear scarves during the summer, cry during Oprah re-runs, and get periodic bikini waxing. “Our audience is actually more inclusive than that” explained CEO Al Franken. “We cater to all sorts of pantywaists regardless of whether they live in metropolitan areas or not.”
GunUp.com’s market dominance highlights Franken’s second major media failure. Previously, Franken was instrumental in the fall and subsequent bankruptcy of admittedly leftist radio program, Air America. “I don’t know why you guys keep bringing up Air America” whined Franken. “It wasn’t our fault that people didn’t know better than to listen to our program. I bet Rush Limbaugh and the vast right wing conspiracy are behind this GunUp.com thing too. It’s just not fair, and as a United States Senator, I am going to introduce legislation to stop this nonsense.”
GunUp.com anticipates a bright future and has garnered an impressive early following. “Having perhaps the largest online gun comparison database in the world really helped GunUp.com start an interactive community” explained spokesperson Veronica Corningstone of Laura Burgess Marketing. “We were pretty firm in our belief that having actual data as the foundation of our offering would be of value to our users. Plus, our users can actually read, which has proved to be a tremendous competitive advantage over GunDown.com.”