Witnesses claim the hoodlums committing these shannanigans were armed with typical ‘street guns’ including Springfield XD’s, Smith and Wesson M&P’s, and Glocks. “Typical Saturday night specials favored by criminals and thugs,” whined New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. “I can’t believe that gun companies are giving our children access to these things. My people tell me that Smith and Wesson even gave them one free of charge in order to encourage this behavior.”
Most of the youth involved exhibited no shame and brazenly walked around with their firearms in full view. Most had exposed belt holsters, belt-mounted magazine carriers, and other tactical equipment.
“These kids were armed to the teeth,” observed a passer by. “They had lots and lots of high capacity magazines. Every one of them had at least five from what I could see.”
On further examination, It turns out that the gang was participating in a Scholastic Steel Challenge Match. A source close to the group explained the gangs colors. “They’re wearing Techwear competition shooting jerseys,” explained a mysterious adult ring leader known as Coach Mike. “They have a really cool ‘Steel Stingers’ logo on the back. Totally bad if you ask me and the kids love ’em.”
Safety is the number one priority with each new team member receiving exhaustive classroom training before stepping on to the range. Coach Mike also starts each practice session with a pop quiz on the four rules of gun safety and cold range rules.
Scholastic Steel Challenge is a division of the Steel Challenge Shooting Association designed for
hoodlums youth ages 12-20. The basic idea is to hit five steel targets as fast as possible, without missing. A youth match consists of four separate courses of fire, each with a different combination of target shape, size, and range. At each course of fire, competitors shoot five ‘strings’ with the best four times getting logged in the books. As the event is timed, each miss costs precious seconds, thereby placing a premium on accuracy and smoothness over raw speed. It’s challenging, which probably explains the name Steel Challenge.
It’s not hard to see how these kids ended up in gun toting gangs. A look at their collective backgrounds tells the story:
- Top of class in a prestigious junior high school
- Practices drawing and getting fast sight pictures with a paintball gun and paper plates on the clothesline
- Former International Irish Dance Champion
- Various members of junior and senior high school cheerleading squads
- A recent graduate of a summer Civil Air Patrol program
Dangerous group isn’t it?
Got kids? Know kids? Ever seen a kid? Expose them to something fun, safe and challenging. You’ll also get the joy out of scaring the bejeepers out of any hand-wringing pantywaists nearby. Check out the Scholastic Steel Challenge program and find (or start) a youth shooting team in your area! Please, do it for the children!