Florida Outsources Concealed Weapon Permit Processing to Cuba

Overwhelmed by number of recent Concealed Weapon Permit applications, the State of Florida has resorted to drastic measures to handle the avalanche of new applicants.Starting March 2, 2009, 40% of all permit applications will be exported to Havana, Cuba for processing.

Havana, Cuba

Havana, Cuba

Florida citizens are expressing growing concern about the potential impacts of the recently unveiled federal budget.Elimination of law enforcement nationwide in order to channel billions into development of environmentally friendly plankton powered smart car technology is bound to have an effect on crime. Agriculture Commissioner Charles Bronson, of “The Mechanic” and “The Dirty Dozen” fame, observes “when you have all those Smart Cars and no law enforcement, rival Whole Foods gangs are bound to cause trouble. Citizens are taking matters into their own hands and seeking concealed weapons permits in record numbers to better protect themselves.”

“We’ve got a backlog of 95,000 concealed permit applications” stated Bronson. “We’ve got our kids and a few bored looking people from lines at the post office here on weekends helping approve these applications and we still can’t keep up.” Some new permit holders have expressed surprise that their
paperwork has been signed with what appears to be Crayola Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown.

The move seems to make a lot of sense as Florida and Cuba have a long standing working relationship with especially deep ties from joint commercial ventures such as inner tube yacht testingand vintage automobile foster home programs. According to Bronson, “Most people in
Cuba already have family members living in Florida, so background checking for applications is rarely required. If an agent in the Havana processing centerrecognizes a distant cousin as a
CWP applicant, we just approve it and send it back to Florida with a box of Partagas. The new streamlined process saves the taxpayers a lot of money.”

Photo courtesy of Robin Thom

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