Mayors Against Illegal Guns (MAIG) spokesperson Senator Al Franken announced today formation of a new political organization – Mayors Against Legal Governing, or MALG.
Inspiration for the spinoff organization came out of a recent emergency meeting called to address the problem of inordinate numbers of MAIG members running afoul of the law. Since it’s formation in 2006, MAIG has suffered a rash of embarrassing incidents where member Mayors have been arrested, convicted, and even jailed for a broad variety of crimes.
“I mean everyone knows that we don’t play by the same rules as common people. We finally decided, hey, why the secrecy? Let’s just be out in the open about it and organize and embrace the lawlessness,” noted MAIG and MALG Founder New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
MALG organizers stress the importance of planning and metrics to success of their long term mission. ”The pro-second amendment crowd likes to use lot’s of fancy statistics to prove things, so we decided we needed to whip up some of our own,” explained MALG organizer Bloomberg.
Inside sources indicate that Mayors Against Legal Governing is trying to make sure that have equal representation from all sorts of lawless behavior. So far, members have compiled an impressive list of illicit behaviors including Campaign Finance Scandal, Bribery, Counterfeiting, Domestic Abuse, Extortion, Money Laundering, Miscellaneous Corruption, Falsifying Evidence, Double-Secret Federal Charges, and Child Pornography.
“While we’re off to an impressive start, we’ve got some real gaps in the areas of armed robbery, impersonation of clergy, and nude Llama wrestling,” observed Mayor Bloomberg. “If you know anyone, please give them my number.
“Originally we wanted to keep this organization exclusive and only allow membership to Mayors who are actual convicted felons or those who were in the process of being convicted,” explained Mayor Bloomberg. “But we’re really making a renewed effort to be inclusive so we’re going consider adding Mayors with Misdemeanors to the group.”
Somehow this seems even more relevant than when originally posted…
An article at Wee’rd World about ‘Occupy’ protests got us thinking…
Inside sources have revealed a seditious agenda behind the recent push in Massachusetts to enforce microstamping on firearm cartridges.
Breaking News: The late Charlton Heston has stepped forward to volunteer to serve as Special Prosecutor in the explosive Fast and Furious scandal. Mr. Heston brushed off stunned observers who were quite surprised at the actor and former NRA President’s entry back into the political scene and even more shocked at his apparent resurrection.
“Heck, Zombies rise from the dead all the time. It’s not that big a deal really. And this is a darn tooting’ good reason if there ever was one,” observed the late Mr. Heston.
Mr. Heston elaborated on his decision and explained that he was pretty sure that Fast and Furious and the resulting cover-up broke most of The Ten Commandments and maybe more. “I got to be pretty knowledgeable about those rules during an old movie role years back you know.”
Asked for his reaction to the news, Attorney General Holder stated “I don’t know.” Pressed for additional detail, Holder admitted “That guy scares me. Especially now that he’s dead.”
Insiders indicate that Mr. Heston is committed to the project and will remain undead for as long as it takes to get to the bottom of the GunWalker scandal. According to Heston’s remains, “I may be dead, but I’m not about to stand for this! These guys are going to have to pry this job from my cold, dead hands! Oh, wait a minute, my hands are cold and dead. Whatever.”
Apparently the interview process has started…