Business - My Gun Culture

Hornady Announces Really Really Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation Ammo

November 15, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

Following a special encore screening of the classic action thriller film Escape from New York, Hornady President Snake Plissken introduced the company’s latest line of premium tactical ammunition – Really, Really, Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation.

“Over the past couple of months we’ve introduced a couple of really innovative defense loads” noted Plissken. “The Critical Defense product is aimed squarely at the personal defense market. Well, not literally aimed as that would probably be illegal. At minimum it would be bad for business I think.”

Hornady’s Critical Defense is designed to provide for reliable expansion performance in a broad variety of situations. While traditional hollow points can become clogged with material and fibers from clothing, Critical Defense uses a custom FTX tipped bullet that won’t clog and expands reliably.

Close on the heels of the Critical Defense launch, the company introduced Critical Duty ammunition which offers enhanced barrier penetration characteristics without sacrifice of bullet expansion. “Once we had bullets that performed well through clothing and harder barriers, it was only natural to look at the worst case scenario and design for that,” commented Plissken. “And call me Snake.”

Plissken admits that inspiration for Horandy’s Really, Really Hairy ‘Situation Critical’ Situation ammunition came from a recent DIRECTV binge. “We had about a week straight of rainy days and I must have watched every single 1980′s vintage action movie at least twice. I can’t provide details now, so let’s just say that if you are ever threatened by exceptionally persistent liquid metal villains, we might have a solution for you soon.”

Hornady’s Vice President of Marketing, Don Draper, admits the target market segment is somewhat limited, but remains optimistic about the new product.

“Our primary target market consists of one-eyed former war heroes turned bad who are abandoned in violent maximum security prison cities of the future filled with bloodthirsty dregs of society intent on killing or at least maiming anyone who happens to cross their path. We are having a bit of a problem meeting our sales objectives, but we’re going to be trying some new social media advertising to find more folks who fit the ideal customer profile,” opined an ever-optimistic Draper. “We hear that Twitter might be a good place to start. Do you have any scotch?”

Filed Under: Business, Featured, Have You Heard?, News Tagged With: ammo, ammunition, hornady, products, Self-Defense

CYLYNDRA – The new shape of wasteful spending

October 8, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

CYLYNDRA - The new shape of wasteful spending

Filed Under: Business, Half-Cocked, Politics, Posters Tagged With: government, government gone wild, half-cocked, politics, posters, satire, solyndra, stimulus, waste

410HandGuns.com – Judging the .410 Handgun

August 19, 2011 By Tom 1 Comment

hCharter Arms El Presidente 40mm Grenade

What's the effectiveness of your 40mm handgun?

Ever-vigilant in our efforts to bring you the latest shooting industry scoop, we recently crashed the POMA Annual Conference in Ogden, UT. In addition to learning that POMA is a front for a top-secret Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Society, we met some interesting folks with new ideas.

One of those was Gil Horman, frequent contributor to AmericanRifleman.org. In his spare time, Gil has designed and built a new standard testing methodology for the slew of .410 handguns and ammunition now entering the market such as the Taurus Judge, Smith & Wesson Governor, Magnum Research BFR and Bond Arms Snake Slayer. This new performance measurement philosophy is highlighted on a new site, 410Handguns.com.

As long as we can remember, standard testing protocols for standard handguns have been widely ~~abused~~ used. Set up targets at 25 yards, shoot at them from a free-handed hold position, report two or three inch groups, and not-so-subtly hint to the world what a great shooter you are while claiming to have ascertained the mechanical accuracy of the gun in question. Right.

But we digress. Whether or not the standard handgun testing protocols are horse-hockey or not, there is no real standard of any value for objectively measuring .410 handguns with various loads. Enter 410Handguns.com.

According to Horman, the idea is to establish meaningful measurements for different types of loads – bird shot and buck shot pellets – while documenting performance at varying real-world combat distances. The FIST Test Protocol establishes both percentage of strike and group size standards depending on the load type.

410Handguns.com does not only propose standardized testing methodology, it puts it to work. Having tested hundreds of gun / load combinations, 410Handguns.com presents tabular results that allow site users to see how various loads perform in their handgun, or vice-versa. Handy stuff.

Pressed to share in about future enhancements to the site, Horman was reluctant to offer details. However, we’ve learned that work is already under way on development of Huge@ssHandguns.com where the Charter Arms El Presidente Model will be tested with a variety of high explosive, incendiary, and armor penetrating loads. Horman refused to confirm or deny speculation that the site would launch at SHOT 2012 Media Day. Calls to the Las Vegas High-Explosive Zoning Commission have not been returned.

Horman was able to confirm some details of 410Handguns.com short term plans. Next on the testing agenda is .410 Rubber Buckshot. 410handGuns.com will be validating the relative effectiveness of the classic ”I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you shoot bounces off me and sticks to you” defense. Results should be published shortly after infinity plus one.

Filed Under: Business, Concealed Carry, News, Shooting 101 Tagged With: .410, ammo, ammunition, handguns, on the web, shotguns, testing

New Beretta Nano

August 15, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

Beretta Nano 9mm

Not quite as small as the North American Arms Nano Pinky Revolver we wrote about a while back, but Beretta is coming out with a new small form factor gun this October. The Beretta Nano initially comes out in 9mm and should have a street price of around $475. While it looks nothing like the PX4 series, it does carry some common design elements like a beveled slide and frame texture.

More info from Guns and Ammo here.

Filed Under: Business, Crap Shoot, News Tagged With: Beretta, ccw, new products, pistols

Strutting and Rutting

June 12, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

Strut and Rut Energy Drink

Strut and Rut – A new energy drink aimed at outdoors-people. Let’s hope it doesn’t inspire namesake behavior by its consumers. I suppose we’ll know for sure in about 9 months.

Filed Under: Business, Crap Shoot Tagged With: business, hunting, new products, outdoors, products

Capitol Police and Smithsonian Team On Deficit Reduction Efforts

April 21, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

US Armament 1877 Bulldog Gatling Gun

In a unique approach designed to reduce federal government expenditures, the Capitol Police and Smithsonian National Museum of American History have combined portions of their capital expenditure budgets. The moves are in response to increased pressure from the administration to find deficit reduction opportunities.

“We’ve pretty much been given an edict to save at least $43 on our 2012 budget” lamented Capitol Police Chief Administrative Officer Barney Fife. “We’re taking the country’s deficit reduction program pretty seriously. Of course, salaries and benefits won’t be impacted. Or business lunches and dinners. Or office redecoration programs.”

Fife further outlined the controversial plan in a press conference at the swanky Greenbrier Resort outside of Washington, D.C. “I was having a business dinner with my buddy Francois Toulour over at the Smithsonian and he was griping about not having enough money for new exhibits. And I was telling him that we’ve been struggling to get a new Dillon Aero M134D gatling gun for the Capitol roof. These Tea Party protests might get out of hand you know. Anyway, then an idea came to me – let’s share one!”

While the Smithsonian was not actively seeking a modern, six-barreled, electrically powered, 3,000 round a minute machine gun, they were in the market for an example of early automatic weapon technology. The two departments quickly settled on a compromise purchase – a U.S. Armament 1877 Bulldog Gatling Gun. Under the joint plan, the Capitol Police will maintain possession of the gun Monday through Fridays from 7am until 6pm. It will then be transferred to the Smithsonian for display evenings and weekends. In the event of Glenn Beck rallies or other high-threat conditions, the Capitol Police will maintain possession of the weapon indefinitely.

Fife hopes to negotiate similar arrangements for short-range Coehorn Mortars soon.

Filed Under: Business, Have You Heard? Tagged With: assault weapons, firearms, legislation, politics, satire

Devaluing the Dollar…

April 17, 2011 By Tom Leave a Comment

Devalued money

So my daughter and I are all alone this weekend. Wife and son are both out of town. We got a little bored and decided to go to the range. And shoot money.

More specifically, we wanted to see how hope and (holes in) change fared against the CZ 513 .22LR bolt action rifle with different types of .22LR ammunition.

It has come to our attention that we have inadvertently devalued the money supply.

We were just plinking and had no idea that we might have accelerated a complete meltdown on the US financial system. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience that may cause. Umm. Sorry. Our bad.

The CZ with a Pride-Fowler 6x40mm scope did a pretty good job with CCI Stingers. Learn more about the CZ 513 at GunUp.com. If we did in fact destroy the economy, you might need one sooner rather than later.

Filed Under: Business, Crap Shoot Tagged With: business, politics

Benchmade Expands Into Tactical Office Supplies Market

February 11, 2011 By Tom 2 Comments

Benchmade DamaSteel Tactical Stapler

Frankfurt, Germany – The My Gun Culture investigative team has recently returned from the PaperWorld Expo, where our reporters learned of a new strategic direction for knife maker Benchmade. Building on the market success of the company’s Specialty Tactical Pen series, Benchmade intends to aggressively expand into the broader tactical office supplies market.

“The problem with most office supplies is that they are ridiculously uncool” observed Benchmade CEO Ben Cartwright. “I mean, really, think about your average stapler. It’s almost always black and has no style or tactical value whatsoever. And we’ve yet to see one equipped with laser sights. And when it comes to trying to fight with most office supplies, forget about it.”

Cartwright went on to reveal the first two products in Benchmade’s new lineup – the DamaSteel Tactical Stapler and the OC Combo Tape/Pepper Non-Lethal Dispenser. The DamaSteel Tactical Stapler features a 3×9 variable scope for both short and longer range office conflicts and and high-penetration dual-core titanium staples. The Non-lethal tape/pepper dispenser aims to be the first to market with a 15 foot effective radius.

Designed to appeal to the disgruntled cubicle worker market, Benchmade’s new lineup will be sold in vending machines of large office complexes. “We’re also looking at partnerships with other companies firmly entrenched in existing office complexes. Red Bull and UPS for example” explained company Marketing Vice President Don Draper. “Don’t tell anyone about this, but we have a product placement deal in the works with Dilbert.”

Cartwright continued “We’re always looking at innovation. Some things on our drawing board include a semi-automatic three-hole punch and a concealable protractor. As we always say, make it cool, make it solid, make it happen and definitely make it Benchmade.”

Filed Under: Business, Have You Heard? Tagged With: office supplies, tactical, tactical pens

Gun Tote’n Mamas Take Over Operations of MIB

February 4, 2011 By Tom 1 Comment

Gun Tote's Mamas Now Known As Mamas In Black

Gun Tote'n Mamas Now Known As Mamas In Black

The crack investigative team of My Gun Culture has recently uncovered a surprise coup within the Intergalactic Security Organization previously known as Men in Black (MIB). Due to the recent Hollywood smash hits Men In Black and Men In Black II, covers of the MIB organization and those of its top agents, J and K, have been blown, rendering their future undercover effectiveness limited.

A new team has been brought in to run the top-secret organization. Fronting as a women-owned company catering to the female concealed carry handbag market, Gun Tote’n Mamas has taken over management and day to day operations. The new team will be focused on securing the 1,500 aliens known to be residing on earth, protecting planet Earth from alien enemies, and of course making a wide variety of adorable, yet functional ladies concealed carry handbags. Insiders say that while the organizations name will remain unchanged – MIB – it’s meaning will now be Mamas In Black.

Agent Zed, former head of MIB was complimentary about the choice for his successor. “They have been doing good security work in the concealed carry handbag business” stated Zed. “For example, their concealed carry purses have slash resistant straps. Features like that can really come in handy when doing battle with a Bug alien.”

Typical Bug Alien (Image: Columbia Pictures)

As part of the new role, all seven women of Gun Tote’n Mamas have voluntarily submitted to have every trace of their identity and existence purged. Not all on the team are happy with their new code names L, M, N, O, P, Q, and R. “I really wanted to be AAA” complained spokesperson for the Mama’s in Black team, Ripley, now known as R. “Then I could have told people it stands for Awesome Alien Avenger.

While the new team’s headquarters location is classified as Top-Secret, off-the-record sources indicate that the Mama’s In Black will move out of the groups Triborough Bridge and Tunnel Authority facility and operate out of an abandoned Bath & Body Works store.

Filed Under: Business, Have You Heard? Tagged With: ccw, concealed carry, purses, women

Long Lost Kahles Scope Used By Minnesota Iceman

January 27, 2011 By Tom 1 Comment

Minnesota Iceman Kahles Scope - Scooby Doo

Minnesota Iceman - Owner of Lost Kahles Scope (Image: Hanna Barbera)

Kahles, Austrian manufacturer of fine rifle optics, recently unveiled the result of what was perhaps the longest field endurance test of hunting equipment ever – a Helia rifle scope lost in the Alps for what initially appeared to be nearly four decades. After showing the long lost rifle and scope at the 2011 SHOT Show, Kahles officials made an even more startling discovery about the scope’s origins.

“When we embarked on a carbon dating test, to settle a bar bet mind you, we discovered that the Kahles scope had been lost far longer than we originally thought” stated Kahles CEO Ben Cartwright. “Imagine our surprise when we found out that the rifle and scope were over 5,300 years old.”

Kahles Lost Helia Rifle Scope (Image: Kahles)

Further research on the scope’s origins yielded more surprising discoveries. Given the location of the find, compared with known hunting trails of the era, it was determined that the rifle and scope were likely owned by the Minnesota Iceman, discovered in 1968. “While most cavemen of that era hunted with rocks and spears, the really well-heeled ones could afford a nice bolt action” commented Cartwright.

Kahles engineers were thrilled with the scope’s perfect operational condition when it was originally believed the scope was in the wild for 30 years. “That in itself demonstrates an amazing feat of engineering” observed Kalhles Product Manager Carl Sagan. “When we found out it was really over 5,000 years old we weren’t really all that surprised. We build these things to last you know. However we were a little shocked that the Minnesota Iceman got his hands on a pre-production model. We hadn’t released those to the market 5,300 years ago. We’re guessing one of our interns borrowed it from the lab or something and got careless.”

After an exhaustive genealogical search, company officials were able to locate a descendant of the original owner in hopes of returning the scope to the family. On hearing the good news, modern day iceman Grrrug was ecstatic. ”Mrmffphh urrgghhumpp grrrgxvz Kahles Scope arrgmph grrrrrq frumph” exclaimed the happy descendant of the rifle’s original owner.