In a move to divert public and media scrutiny from itself, to itself, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms announced new reporting restrictions today.
The new regulations will require ATF bureaucrats in four border states, California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas, to file new reports with themselves each time they illegally send more than 2 high-powered, semi-automatic rifles across the border within a 5 day period.
“This just stinks,” complained Special Agent In Charge, Phoenix Field Office Michael Bloomberg. “Do you have any idea how much this new measure will slow down my efforts?”
The move is expected to create tens of thousands of new reports yearly. Some question the ATF’s ability to handle the deluge of new paperwork. “Just great,” continued Bloomberg. “So now I ship some guns, then fill out yet another form, then file it in my own inbox. To make matters worse, I have to then process it and put it in my outbox. How crazy is that?
Asked about his opinion on the new ATF self-reporting regulations, Attorney General Eric Holder commented “I frankly don’t know.”
Get the shirt…