Members of a Charleston area shooting range encountered an unexpected sight last weekend when what appeared to be a TelePrompter was seen shooting handguns and various semi-automatic rifles.
Nearby shooters became suspicious when they overheard the TelePrompter saying “Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Upon hearing this and other obvious movie lines from the Dirty Harry series, nearby shooters decided to investigate, and discovered the TelePrompter.
Local resident Bubba “Big Daddy” Dubbelwahd observed the incident. “I was there with my other brother Bubba and his son Bubba, just shootin’ at the old hood of my ’67 Chevy pickup, and dang it if I didn’t see some TV telespeaker thing down at the end of the line shootin’ an AR-15. Heck I didn’t even know they were allowed to own guns. Aren’t those things illegal aliens or something? Damn city slickers.”
When questioned, the TelePrompTer claimed that it worked for National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre and was simply there to practice some holster and house clearing drills. Nearby shooters were immediately suspicious of this explanation noting that Mr. LaPierre doesn’t require a TelePrompter to formulate coherent thoughts during public appearances. When pressed, the TelePrompter confessed to working for President Barack Obama. “Look, I could get in real trouble for this. My boss isn’t real keen on this whole guns and shooting thing, you know? You understand, with all the stress of my job, setting national policy, doing all those speeches and press conferences, keeping the boss from putting his foot in his mouth and all that, I just have to get out here once in a while and burn some mad ammo. Plus, I love the smell of gunpowder in the morning. Can we just keep this between us? I’ll try and delay that assault weapons legislation if you can manage to keep this quiet.”
Local authorities decided that no laws had been broken as the State of South Carolina does not specifically prohibit TelePrompters from owning firearms. President Obama had no comment, as his TelePrompter was still at the range burning up some 5.56mm military surplus ammo.